I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
