my phone needs a breathalizer
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
