Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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