$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
