No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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