i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
