Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You are the jesus of drinking
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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