I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have aggressive nipples.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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