That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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