White coat. Heels.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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