I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
