Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
