Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
