All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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