of course. lets lasso hookers.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
