Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
