No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize