I'm lost and stupid without you.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
