What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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