she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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