Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
