Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
