So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
