I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
