I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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