It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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