Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
