You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
