Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
