New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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