I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
