I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
