I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
