I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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