you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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