Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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