I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
