Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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