That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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