As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize