would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
