He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
