just tell him i said nine months
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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