trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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