I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think my fart just growled at me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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