return my video game
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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