Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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