Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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