none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
