I don't think brook has ever known best
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
