All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
