I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
