Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
