Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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