I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
