I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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