went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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