brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
