Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
